The Worst Games in Mariners History

Note from Jon: Nathan Bishop has been added to the Pro Ball NW roster along with Brendan Gawlowski.  As I did with Brendan, I thought sharing you one of Nathan’s application submissions would be a good way to introduce him.  Welcome, Nathan!


The first in a series in which the author examines the most memorable moments from a life following the Mariners. It stands to reason these posts will not be filled with hope because the Mariners exist primarily as instruments of pain. But shared pain is a bond. Let’s bond shall we?

September 2, 1996. Seattle Mariners vs. Boston Red Sox

The 1996 Seattle Mariners represented something new for Northwest baseball fans: Expectations. After the miracle of ’95 the Mariners were coming into the season riding a wave of momentum the franchise had never known. Featuring a prodigious offense that scored what now seems like a 2 years’ worth 993 runs and smacking a then record 245 home runs ((The record stood until the 1997 Mariners clobbered 264 home runs. A record that still stands. The exploits of the 90’s Mariners makes the ineptitude of recent M’s hitters all the more painful.)) the fightin’ M’s nonetheless floundered in second place the majority of the year thanks to an atrocious pitching staff that spent half the season without its Biggest Unit. Fortunately the wild card race was very much in play and at the beginning of the September one of the other teams in the Race, the Boston Red Sox, came to town for a three game series. The thought was that the mojo would be back with the month of September. The Mariners were going to catch fire and make the playoffs for a second year in a row, setting the foundation for regular success that the franchise had been so desperately seeking since its inception.

Or so my sixteen year old brain told me.

“Sometimes, There’s A Man.”

Little known fact: Nick Swisher is the bastard son of Mike Greenwell

Mike Greenwell had had a pretty swell career in baseball. As a 23 year old rookie he hit .328/.386/.570 and followed it up the next year with a .325/.416/.531 season that saw him finish runner up in the 1988 AL MVP race. By 1996 though, the end was damn near nigh. Although still chugging along with a .295 BA, injuries had robbed Greenwell of most of his power. Pitchers, no longer fearing Greenwell’s bat, began pounding the strike zone and his on base percentage fell as fast as his slugging. After going 2-3 with a double in an 8-3 win over Oakland Mike Greenwell came into the Mariners series with a .699 OPS. In an age of booming offense Mike Greenwell was now a liability.

24 hours his .OPS would be 56 points higher.

“Greenwell had a career night. He had a week’s worth of RBI, two weeks’ worth.”

The game started out fun. Roger Clemens was in what appeared to be his declining years and thanks to some timely hitting and an error from reigning AL MVP ((What a crock of shit. Edgar was robbed.)) Mo Vaughn Seattle jumped out to a 5-0 lead. By the time Troy O’Leary flied to left for the 2nd out in the 5th inning the win expectancy for the Mariners was at 95%. Images of another thrilling pennant chase were dancing in my head as I prepared for the 16 year old, homeschooled equivalent of a victory cigar: A Slurpee run. But then Bob Wolcott walked Tim Naehring on a 3-2 pitch and then Mike Greenwell smacked the first pitch over that Blue Monsterette in right and it was 5-2. Still, the win expectancy stood at 94%. But this was the 1996 Mariners, a team that spent all year tormenting its fans with blown leads. I halted the Slurpee run. Although Bobby Ayala had come in to get the last out of the sixth it was the seventh inning that saw Bobby Motherfucking Ayala take the mound. A leadoff double was followed up by two of Ayala’s government patented walks and then, again, Mike Greenwell. A 1-0 fastball caught too much plate and Greenwell sent it to the seats and quicker than you can say Jonathan Brandis the Mariners were losing. But that weapons-grade Mariners offense saved the day and came back with three runs to take an 8-6 lead into the eighth.

Mike Greenwell doubled in two runs.

In the tenth inning with Greenwell on deck Rafael Carmona walked Jeff Manto on four pitches. Recently Jeff Sullivan of Lookout Landing highlighted what he believed to be the worst at bat in the history of baseball. In which a relief pitcher was forced to bat, stood with one foot out of the batter’s box and was walked on four pitches. I believe Rafael Carmona walking Jeff Manto on four pitches has to be the second worst. Jeff Manto had a 76 OPS+ in 1996. He was hitting ahead of a man who had already driven in eight runs in a tie game in extra innings and Rafael Carmona could not throw him a strike. In the prelude to many disasters it is common for victims to recount a sense of foreboding, a premonition of the harm about to befall them in the moments prior. That was Mike Greenwell’s ensuing at bat. No one doubted what was about to happen. The mustachio’d bastard walked calmly into the batter’s box like an axe-man to an executioner’s block and proceed to use a 2-0 fastball to line a single, drive in a run and put the Red Sox in the lead 9-8. Heathcliff Slocumb (!) closing out the Mariners was only a formality. The game was over. The Mariners lost. I did not get a Slurpee.

Mike Greenwell finished 4-5 with two home runs, a double, and an American League record 9 RBIs. He referred to it as a “Storybook night.” It was the best game of his career in what would end up being his last season. After the Red Sox 3rd place finish he retired.

The game ended any hopes I had for the Mariners that year. History shows that that team went on a 1995-esque 10 game win streak later in the season and clawed within a game of first place. Yet it never felt right. Mike Greenwell had done so much damage to my psyche that I stopped buying victory Slurpees. The next year the Mariners won the division and made the playoffs. But I knew they would lose and sure enough the Baltimore Orioles eliminated them in the NLDS.

I find that some of my most acute memories are centered around events that seemed meaningless when they occurred. I can tell you where I was and how excited I was when my children were born, when we closed on our house, etc. But I can’t tell you the details that make it interesting. Whereas I remember the exact shade of neon checkerboard board shorts I wore to a friend’s house when I was 10. They were hideous and I asked my mom repeatedly to let me change out of them. She would not. Mike Greenwell is baseball’s ugly board shorts. I remember everything about that stupid, meaningless game that happened fifteen years ago. Life is weird like that. And Mike Greenwell is still a dick.


6 thoughts on “The Worst Games in Mariners History

    • Nathan Bishop says:

      I always think it’s extremely distasteful and immature to wish negative things on anyone’s health for any reason. 

      But yes.

  1. Anonymous says:

    Great story Nathan, the emotions of a 16 year old watching his heros crash and burn really come to life.  Great pros.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Great story Nathan, the emotions of a 16 year old watching his heros crash and burn really come to life.  Great pros.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Bobby MF Ayala. Couldn’t have said it any better! On top of that I always hated Mike MF Greenwell and the MF Red Sox. Keep up the good stuff Mr. Bishop.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Great memory, Nathan.  Or, as my oldest grandson says, rememory.
    I think I had one of those way back when.  But I’m not sure; can’t remember.
    Being relatively new to the NW, I hadn’t realized the Mariners had such a long history (tradition?) of being inconsistent, and disappointing.
    Great story!  Thanks. 

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